A Little Blown Over….

Have you ever had the experience where what is happening in the physical is also occurring in the spiritual? It is no surprise that our little corner of the world has experienced another hurricane! Overall we are ok, but as I look around at the chaos and the disruption, I totally feel like I am looking at a visual representation of how I am feeling both spiritually and emotionally…a little blown over.

Hurricane Zeta came through our area and left a mess. I drove through our little town and almost cried at the loss. I look at our farm and I am thankful, but that doesn’t ease the disruption, if I can be honest. We lost power very early in the evening that it struck due to a tree that fell across our driveway, tearing down the power lines. Most of the trees along our drive were blown over. There was minimal damage to the house. Fences have to be repaired and the hay barn will need to be redone.

But we are okay.

We can and will survive, thanks to cold fronts and generators! We are safe and we are healthy and we are better off than a lot of others who had trees fall on cars and homes. Our roof doesn’t leak and the power came back on 5 days later. Many are still without power as I write this.

But the silly thing is, I looked at those poor trees blown over, with their roots exposed and knew exactly how they felt! (If the trees could talk, of course!) Lately, for months now, I have felt completely blown over. I have felt the pressure and the weight of the wind and the storm blowing against me, and I have to be completely honest and say that I have been blown over. The roots that I thought were strong and deep, did not hold like I thought that they would.

I have cried more days than I have not. I have stood and wondered where He was and if He was listening. I have shook my head and wondered about my salvation, my ministry, and my place in His plan. I know my poor husband has wondered what has happened to his strong, no nonsense wife! He and I both have thought that I might just not be able to get it back together!

Maybe you have dealt with these feelings before, but typically my faith has held like deep roots. Even in some of the hardest seasons of my life, I have been reasonably strong. But this season has lashed out with grief, stress, and anxiety, the likes that I have never dealt with before.

Please hear me, this is not a post for pity or anything other than following the prompting of the Spirit to bear my soul in hopes that one person reading this is where I am/have been and is needing the hope that is holding me up.

We had to pull each of those trees up with a chain and a tractor and stake them down in order for them to stand. Our hope is that they are undisturbed enough that the roots will dig in again and that they will live and not die. It was work. It took power and muscle to pull them up and to put down posts and tie them. They needed support and stability.

Storms make trees take deeper roots.

Dolly Parton

Guess what? Researchers say that those roots will go deeper and the likelihood that those trees will survive is very high. The same goes for me, and yes, for you as well! The same storms that blew me over, are the same storms that pushed me to pray harder and dig deeper in Him for my expectations, my encouragement, and my stability. I had to look to Him for my help. I am learning that I have to quit being so hard on myself and lean on Him more.

When I am weak, He is strong!

The tree that was was blown over and staked from the last hurricane isn’t alone anymore. He has been joined by 10 others that now are being held and propped up against future storms. Click here to read about that one!

And just like that tree, I may still be a little wobbly, but I am staked down and propped up. He has me! My roots are in the process of digging deeper. The tears come a little less often and the anxiety is almost gone. The stress is no longer pushing me; I am pushing back. I am saying no to some things and yes to others. (By the way, it is OK to say no!)

He has spoken and I have not only heard, but I have listened. Somedays, I have to remind myself what He said, but that’s ok. I know He spoke. He hears me. I am a part of His plan. THIS very post is a part of His plan and my ministry.

Storms will come and go. Damage will happen. Clean-up will have to be done. But in the end, we can lean back and see His hand. We can see His protection and His provision. And yes thankfully, we can see that we are stronger than we thought we were and stronger than we once were!

I am song person, in case you didn’t know. Songs speak to me. God knows just how to reach me or confirm something in me through a song. Two have been swimming in my head over the last few days of cleanup.

Here are the lyrics from Darrell Evans’ “Trading My Sorrows” – also biblical! Here’s the reference, 2 Corinthians 4:8 I’m pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned,
Struck down but not destroyed. I’m blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy’s gonna be my strength.

Here are the lyrics from “Thank You Lord, for Your Blessings on Me” There’s a roof up above me, I’ve a good place to sleep. There’s food on my table, and shoes on my feet. You gave me your love Lord and a fine family. Thank you Lord, for your blessings on me!